Why I have a derby name

Derby names are an interesting part of roller derby. I feel like they are both a help, and a hindrance to the sport. Some people don't take us seriously, playing under pseudonyms, and other people are drawn to the sense of fun they represent. Most skaters have derby names, so the few that skate under their legal names stand out. At first there was no question in my mind, I would have a derby name. Then, as I started skating, and met skaters of both groups, it made me think more about why I have one, and what it means to me.

The name you were given at birth, whether you realize it or not, represents something specific. It represents someone who acts a certain way, has a certain personality, conforms to certain expectations. To me, my name represents someone generally polite, introspective, sarcastic, non-confrontational, slightly insecure, bookish, and nerdy. Overall, I like the me this name represents. I'm comfortable in this skin. When I started derby, it was so far out of my comfort zone that I had to find new ways to think about and handle things. Out of this struggle, my alter ego was born. In situations where my day to day self was ill equipped, She stepped in, stepped up, and got me through it. She's a conglomeration of things I admire, and things I've learned. She is a lot tougher than I am, she can do things I'd never dreamed of doing. Or really, WE can. She and I have merged, to a certain degree. I find I'm much more confident in my day to day life. I expect more of myself now, and I feel much more in control of my life. Some days I'm more me, some days I'm more her, but either way, I'm stronger.