Learning to turn off my brain

I have found that my brain is a pansy. It keeps telling me I can't do things, keeps freaking out, keeps getting in my way. Seriously, SHUT UP, BRAIN! I know you're afraid, I know you're thinking about things really hard, but stop. You are just making this harder on yourself. I tend to get really caught up in my head. Especially when I'm having a hard time grasping something. I get frustrated, which makes it worse, till I'm a mess of mental constipation.

Case in point, I was having a really hard time with mohawks. I mean a REALLY hard time. I could do them really slowly and jerkily if I was by myself skating in a straight line off the track, sometimes. I could not do them at all on the track, even on the straight-aways. I had help on them from really great people who were good at teaching, but my brain would lock up, and my body followed. Then, finally, one day it worked. I managed to shut up my brain and just DO IT. It's been two weeks since then, and I still get stiff and uncertain at times, but when that happens, I'm able to tune it out and just turn. I'm getting faster and more confident at it, and soon I won't have to think about it at all.

I need to learn to do this more often. One of the home team captains was telling us skater-tots last week that one of the qualities her team looks for is NOT getting stuck in your head. She spoke about how if your brain tells you that you can't do something, you wont' be able to, and how much faster your brain gives up than your body.

You hear that, brain?? You are such a wimp and you are NOT the boss of me!

The start of an 8 wheeled journey

It all started last February. I somehow decided that trying out for roller derby was an awesome idea, despite my complete lack of athletic background, the fact that I'm lazy, clutzy, woefully uncoordinated, and that my daily exercise consisted of turning the pages of whatever book I was reading. So, I sent out two emails, one to the Windy City Rollers, and one to The Chicago Outfit. WCR happened to be the one to respond first, so off I went to my first fresh meat clinic with my new helmet and pads, and no idea what I was doing. I hadn't been on skates in about 12 years, but I managed to get through the clinic without falling. A large group of us turned up and, lead by the amazing Athena DeCrime, worked on starts and stops, and basic skate skills.

Skip ahead three months and it was time for tryouts. I'd been going skating at least 2 times a week to open skates and speed classes, and was much more confident on wheels. Tryouts, however, had me terrified! All we knew was that there would be an off skate workout portion, and an on skate portion. When we showed up the day of, we were trying out in front of the captains of the 4 main teams, incredible women who we'd watched play all season, and were completely in awe of. The off skate portion was the hardest thing I've ever done. I definitely came into this in less physical shape than many of the girls I tried out with, but I never stopped trying. The on skate portion was a bit less terrifying, since I felt confident that I could skate well enough to at least not make an idiot of myself. I finished sweaty, exhausted, but exhilarated. I got an email that night saying I had made it! I have never been so happy or proud. I did something that was so incredibly hard, that went completely against the grain for me, and I succeeded.

Little did I know that was just the beginning!